Weird Week in Footy: Crappy chants, Eric's ire, and mid-match snacks

Every Tuesday, theScore highlights the most outlandish moments from the wacky, sometimes daft, and perennially entertaining world of football. Here’s what made us smile – or cringe – on the pitch this past week.

Dier takes a tour of Spurs’ stadium

Imagine seeing Eric Dier vault chairs as he’s charging in your direction. Nearly 200 pounds of Portuguese tarts stumbling your way at a glacial pace, you’d have a good 15 minutes to make your getaway before he was within arm’s reach.

One troublesome Tottenham supporter wasn’t afforded that luxury when his anti-Dier cries were confronted by the midfielder’s younger brother seated nearby. Dier himself leapfrogged the advertising board and quickly joined the skirmish.

Who among us hasn’t felt the urge to give a mouthy supporter a smack? Full credit to Dier for taking matters into his own hands. What is it with Premier League footballers named Eric jumping into the stands?

Dimwit Dean up to his old tricks

Checking in with Tottenham’s local rivals Arsenal, midfielder Matteo Guendouzi saw yellow from match official Mike Dean during a midweek FA Cup win over Portsmouth for this:

Dean punishing others for spirited on-pitch charades is easily the most hypocritical thing in English football.

Ronaldo greets supporters

No fans, no problem for Cristiano Ronaldo after Juventus hosted Inter on Sunday in an empty stadium amid the spread of the coronavirus. Now, if we could just ban his awful man bun.

Fake ID lands Ronaldinho in jail

Brazilian legend Ronaldinho and his brother were arrested in Paraguay last week over allegations the pair used fake passports to enter the country. Looks legit.

It’s a shame that a guy who previously landed in hot water for causing environmental damage – and has since been appointed an ambassador by Brazilian president/misogynist/bigot/Amazon destroyer Jair Bolsonaro – would sully his post-playing career like this.

Ronaldinho, who’s still in a Paraguayan prison as of Tuesday morning, is probably too thick to realize that Brazilian citizens don’t require a passport to enter Paraguay, a fellow Mercosur member nation.

Demba Ba-nter is good at Twitter

Current Istanbul Basaksehir and former Chelsea striker Demba Ba is great at Twitter. Liverpool supporters still scarred by Steven Gerrard’s fateful slip and subsequent Ba goal, look away.

Scots speak English, too

Here’s another case of Twitter done well at the expense of Everton’s go-to caretaker manager and former Scotland international striker Duncan Ferguson.

Phrasing matters

If those are great examples of football Twitter done well, former Tottenham chairman Lord Alan Sugar could use a crash course on both social media and the perils of poor punctuation. Excuse me, Troy Parrott did what?

Eintracht ultras have another banner day

The last installment of the Weird Week profiled Eintracht Frankfurt ultras twice. Here they are again, this time after finding a creative new way to malign Hoffenheim benefactor Dietmar Hopp. Crafty stuff.

Scottish club aren’t kidding around

Staying on the topic of ultras groups, fifth-tier Scottish side Fort William FC banned a rowdy fan group for “unacceptable behavior” following a match with Strathspey Thistle. Shots fired.

If FWFC ultras need help fudging any documents or parental permission slips, Ronaldinho has some time on his hands.

Ndiaye has a nibble

Stoke City reject Badou Ndiaye either needed a snack or was insistent on not sharing the gaffer’s instructions when the Trabzonspor midfielder dined on mid-match notes during Saturday’s stalemate with Gaziantep FK.

Former Sutton United “shot-stopper” Wayne Shaw, eat your heart out. Literally.